As their addiction begins to escalate, pornography addicts start fearing for his or her souls. They’ve a spiritual sense that pornography is a kind of poison that’s not supposed to be in their life. They get to the point the place the more and more wicked issues they view – issues being sold as “regular” (comparable to incest porn, bestiality, scat (faeces) porn and rape porn) – are usually not “normal” in any respect and their souls wince at what they are seeing. Many addicts really feel that they are violating their consciences just watching it. Porn sends their mind messages about intercourse that doesn’t tally with their personal concepts of right and flawed and this traumatises them repeatedly – especially as they can’t stop viewing it. Many feel like porn addiction is like a very sluggish spiritual suicide. A part of them dies inexorably with each bender. One addict from my research wrote “Porn is like carbon monoxide. It is seemingly innocent but it slowly and steadily robs you of what is good and nourishing to your soul and replaces it with nothing until your spirit is eventually asphyxiated with addiction and isolation”.
And yet, they should keep going back for more. When they leap on porn sites – regardless of knowing it is killing their spirits – their hearts pound with the adrenaline they’re addicted to and though they can hear their gut screaming blue homicide – telling them not to do that to themselves again – they hear – from another place within themselves words like – “just one final time” they usually get another shot of adrenaline.
Their Darkish Passenger has again awakened. Their our bodies shake as they sort in some risky search request that their addiction asks to view after which they’re thrown into a sea of porn vomit. Their aware self is aware it is unsuitable but they’re powerless at that stage to stop themselves. At this level, with the Darkish Passenger now firmly in the driving seat of the situation, they then willingly take the ability from their higher selves and give it to their lower. They entertain the mistaken and ignore the fitting – walking to the dark and away from the light.
When addicts do porn, the rational part of their brain screams at them to cease but they cannot and so that part of the mind is locked up for the duration of the bender after which when they’re finished porning, it’s free again they usually suppose “what have I finished?” Many addicts are horrified at what they’ve just been porning to once they have genitally orgasmed and are suddenly acutely sensitive to what their soul feels about it. Addicts are traumatised and re-traumatised time and time once more with every pornography bender and this solely gets worse the deeper into addiction they go.
Time and again pornography addicts speak of being “chatted up” by an “interior demon” that “takes management of their minds” and “enacts terrible abuse on them”. Addicts consistently speak of “evil entities”; “the satan inside me”; “interior demons”; “evil running my live”; “sirens calling out to me”; “glimpsing the satan”; “the beast within is awakening”; “the demon that has me possessed”; “the satan inside me”; and “an evil power controlling me” amongst many different terms…
The Dark Passenger enters most badass wordpress podcast ever often when triggered by exterior sexual images or inside thoughts – both of which convey on lust after which a well-recognized shadow creeps over addicts. Many say most of their lives have been given over to this Dark Passenger – over which they feel they don’t have any control. It’s at all times stronger than something they have ever known. Period. No exceptions.
